I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
