Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
