when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
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You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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