I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
