everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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