just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
