he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
