I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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