And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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