You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
