reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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