girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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