She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
