it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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