I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
