i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We talked him into tasing himself.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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