i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
