I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
