WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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