It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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