i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the condom got lost in my hair
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
