I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
