Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize
