And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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