she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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