Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
