I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
