Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
