shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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