He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
