I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
