Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
