Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
