Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
