Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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