This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
