guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
