I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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