I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
