you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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