You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
