When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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