so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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