You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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