Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
