I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
