It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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