i jhust puked up my retainher.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
