So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
