What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
