Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
