Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
