the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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