the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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