id be glad to
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
