she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
