I'm really into asian looking animals
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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