But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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