Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i think my cat just said my name.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
