I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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