Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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