Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
